Picking Up The Broken Pieces

I have decided not to let my past hurt me any longer. For so long the feelings of doubt, anxiety, fear, and brokeness plagued me. I was always afraid to let anyone in to how I was truly feeling, due to rejection and the deep scars that my birth parents had left me with. Satan was constantly attacking my mind making me feel worse, and making me feel like everything was my fault. Now I know that the devil is out to kill me! I realized, through a very close mentor, that holding on to the past, and letting those emotions plague me was causing me to be chained. I want to be free from the chains and ask God for strenghth to endure the past and the emotions that I carry.



http://www.verybestquotes.com/letting-go-give-us-freedom-picture-quotes/

    God is taking me through a season of healing. He wants me to learn to trust him with my life, and seek him with my whole heart. I am amazed by how He gently calms and brings peace to me when I feel empty and there is nothing left. At my school chapel last week, the pastor preached on 1 Peter 5:7, " Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you". The message really helped me to see that Jesus wants me to lay my burdens at his feet and he will take care of me. How blessed I am to serve a God who is so powerful, loving, and forgiving. Know I want to have faith to lay my past at Jesus feet and trust that he will take care of the rest.

A Very Special Day

My family in front of the Judge

On thinking of a topic to write about, I totally skipped over my adoption. I was adopted on September 30, 2012. A very exciting day for my family and I. Finally I was part of a healthy functioning family with many opportunities for me that weren't there before.  Now I would be enrolled in to a christian school, healthy family relationships, and be able to feel loved. I am not saying that I wouldn't miss any of my birth family when I was adopted. Letting go of what I knew for so long to be love, and family was hard, but it was for the better. The adoption was a major turning point in my life. I was twelve years old and didn't see the adoption as significant then. Now that I am older I see how much love my adoptive parents had for me. They sacrificed an easy life to adopt my brothers, sisters, and me. Anyways, on our family's adoption day we started the morning off at the court house where the adoption was legalized, and my last name changed from Dudley to Ness. Then we went out for breakfast with our extended family, and some of my birth family. Some of my birth family came to my adoption because they cared, and were excited for my family's new beginning. Later in the day my brothers, sisters, and I went back to school. When we got there the student council had a banner up congratulating our adoption,and made root beer floats. I am very grateful for the parents that God had lined up for me. He purposed for what he would do with my life and he knows what he is doing. As I look back now, I am grateful that God was with me through the rough times, and brought me to a very beautiful place to be adopted. If my parents had not answered God's calling on their life then I don't know where I would be today. I am very grateful for them and I don't think I could say enough to express my gratitude to them.

On my adoption day

 

Letting God define me, Not the world

  Recently I have been really trying to discover who I am and what makes me Destiny! For so long I was conforming to what other people wanted me to be. Well I found that conforming never will bring me happiness, it only left me feeling empty. Then came the decision to back away and learn about things that intrest me and do things that I like. I began to look at people beyond outward appearance and the typical label of "cool". I would get so bored at home not knowing what to do because I didn't know what I liked to do. I began to search and ask God to show me the gifts he has placed inside of me. Who would have ever known that I would break the generational chains on my life. A big majority of my birth family search for meaningless things to fill the pain. The only thing that could truly satisfy is Jesus. I'm trying to begin to search beyond the surface where it is comfortable and learn more about Jesus and what he wants for my life. I know I say that I am thankful for my parents a lot but it is so true. They have taught me so many things that I would never ever have known. I wouldn't of been able to take the past pain and hurt and find healing through Jesus' blood. God creates us to be set apart from the world so that others may see him through us. I am still learning and searching to know myself more and see myself as God sees me.

Romans 12:2
        " Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing, and perfect will".

Isaiah 64:8
   " Yet you, LORD, are our father, we are the clay, and you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand".

Psalm 139:23
Search me God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts".





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