My emotional roller coaster

It all started when I was about seven years old. We had these people in and out of house that were there to"help"us(social worker). My birth-parents were stuck in a very immature mentality and still are today due to heavy drug usage. Of course at age seven most kids are living their childhood dreams. Not me I was taking care of three siblings and going to school. I was forced to grow up fast, not by my own choosing. If I could of chosen staying young and having a normal childhood over being a little mommy at seven, I surely would of chosen to have a normal childhood. My childhood was normal to me because it was all I ever knew. On the occasion that I would get to go to my birth-dads mom house, I always got excited because I got to escape my world and being unaware that I was just entering another atmosphere of the same without all the responsibilities that I had at home. When I was at her house I got to stop the ice-cream truck and do girly things like painting my nails. I actually felt like a kid to a degree. Once all of the responsibilities at home started wearing me down, I always longed to be away from home. I was calling my grandparents trying to find a place to spend the night. I was always so lonely. I never really got along with kids at school, I was not the best dressed or well kept child.I always looked for acceptance in places that made me feel empty. I was never taught good hygeine skills from my birth-parents. Most of the things I did learn came from my grandparents when I would stay with them. I was so thankful for the teachers at the different schools I was going to. They were such good examples in my life at the time. All the other examples were teaching me to not care about my life. My birthparents let me watch whatever I wanted. I usually chose the scary movies, They brought a lot of fear into my future. This was a little glimpse into my early childhood:)